1893 The ideal brain tonic 1900 Drink Coca-Cola -- delicious and refreshing -- 5 cents at all soda fountains 1905 Is the favorite drink for LADIES when thirsty -- weary -- despondent 1905 Refreshes the weary, brightens the intellect and clears the brain 1906 The drink of QUALITY 1907 Good to the last drop 1907 It satisfies the thirst and pleases the palate 1907 Refreshing as a summer breeze. Delightful as a Dip in the Sea 1908 The Drink that Cheers but does not inebriate 1917 There's a delicious freshness to the taste of Coca-Cola 1919 It satisfies thirst 1919 The taste is the test 1922 Every glass holds the answer to thirst 1922 Thirst knows no season 1925 Enjoy the sociable drink -- Coca-Cola slogans % 1925 With a drink so good, 'tis folly to be thirsty 1929 The high sign of refreshment 1929 The pause that refreshes 1930 It had to be good to get where it is 1932 The drink that makes a pause refreshing 1935 The pause that brings friends together 1937 STOP for a pause... GO refreshed 1938 The best friend thirst ever had 1939 Thirst stops here 1942 It's the real thing 1947 Have a Coke 1961 Zing! what a REFRESHING NEW FEELING 1963 Things go better with Coke 1969 Face Uncle Sam with a Coke in your hand 1979 Have a Coke and a smile 1982 Coke is it! -- Coca-Cola slogans % A couple of kids tried using pickles instead of paddles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills. % A farm in the country side had several turkeys, it was known as the house of seven gobbles. % A waist is a terrible thing to mind. -- Ziggy % Actually, my goal is to have a sandwich named after me. % Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. % Anything that is good and useful is made of chocolate. % As he had feared, his orders had been forgotten and everyone had brought the potato salad. % As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate. -- Sandra Boynton, "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion" % Be careful when you bite into your hamburger. -- Derek Bok % BOO! We changed Coke again! BLEAH! BLEAH! % Boycott meat -- suck your thumb. % Carob works on the principle that, when mixed with the right combination of fats and sugar, it can duplicate chocolate in color and texture. Of course, the same can be said of dirt. % Cheese -- milk's leap toward immortality. -- Clifton Fadiman, "Any Number Can Play" % Consider the following axioms carefully: "Everything's better when it sits on a Ritz." and "Everything's better with Blue Bonnet on it." What happens if one spreads Blue Bonnet margarine on a Ritz cracker? The thought is frightening. Is this how God came into being? Try not to consider the fact that "Things go better with Coke". % Dear Mister Language Person: I am curious about the expression, "Part of this complete breakfast". The way it comes up is, my 5-year-old will be watching TV cartoon shows in the morning, and they'll show a commercial for a children's compressed breakfast compound such as "Froot Loops" or "Lucky Charms", and they always show it sitting on a table next to some actual food such as eggs, and the announcer always says: "Part of this complete breakfast". Don't that really mean, "Adjacent to this complete breakfast", or "On the same table as this complete breakfast"? And couldn't they make essentially the same claim if, instead of Froot Loops, they put a can of shaving cream there, or a dead bat? Answer: Yes. -- Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's" % Death before dishonor. But neither before breakfast. % Did you hear that Captain Crunch, Sugar Bear, Tony the Tiger, and Snap, Crackle and Pop were all murdered recently... Police suspect the work of a cereal killer! % Dieters live life in the fasting lane. % Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off. % Do not drink coffee in early A.M. It will keep you awake until noon. % Do not worry about which side your bread is buttered on: you eat BOTH sides. % During the American Revolution, a Britisher tried to raid a farm. He stumbled across a rock on the ground and fell, whereupon an aggressive Rhode Island Red hopped on top. Seeing this, the farmer commented, "Chicken catch a Tory!" % Eat drink and be merry! Tomorrow you may be in Utah. % Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal. % Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet. % Eat right, stay fit, and die anyway. % "Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may work." % Eating chocolate is like being in love without the aggravation. % Even a cabbage may look at a king. % Every time I lose weight, it finds me again! % Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. -- Alexander Woollcott % Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being that a belch is more satisfying. -- Ingmar Bergman % Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing. -- Walt Kelly, "Potluck Pogo" % God must have loved calories, she made so many of them. % Has anyone ever tasted an "end"? Are they really bitter? % Has your family tried 'em? POWDERMILK BISCUITS Heavens, they're tasty and expeditious! They're made from whole wheat, to give shy persons the strength to get up and do what needs to be done. POWDERMILK BISCUITS Buy them ready-made in the big blue box with the picture of the biscuit on the front, or in the brown bag with the dark stains that indicate freshness. % Have a taco. -- P. S. Beagle % Home on the Range was originally written in beef-flat. % Hors d'oeuvres -- a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces. -- Jack Benny % How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being carried by a waiter at a nice party? Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors d'oeuvre. If they're those little pastry things where you can't tell what's inside, you take one, bite off about two-thirds of it, then say: "This is cheese! I hate cheese!" Then you put the rest of it back on the tray and bite another one and go, "Darn it! Another cheese!" and so on. -- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette" % I am so optimistic about beef prices that I've just leased a pot roast with an option to buy. % I brake for chezlogs! % I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms really DO melt in your hand. -- Peter Oakley % I don't care for the Sugar Smacks commercial. I don't like the idea of a frog jumping on my Breakfast. -- Lowell, Chicago Reader 10/15/82 % I don't care where I sit as long as I get fed. -- Calvin Trillin % I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. -- Katherine Cebrian % I don't have an eating problem. I eat. I get fat. I buy new clothes. No problem. % "I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it." -- Clarence Darrow % I have never been one to sacrifice my appetite on the altar of appearance. -- A. M. Readyhough % I have no doubt that it is a part of the destiny of the human race, in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals. -- Thoreau % I just ate a whole package of Sweet Tarts and a can of Coke. I think I saw God. -- B. Hathrume Duk % I never met a piece of chocolate I didn't like. % I never pray before meals -- my mom's a good cook. % "I thought you were trying to get into shape." "I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle." % I'm hungry, time to eat lunch. % I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. -- Totie Fields % If at first you fricasee, fry, fry again. % If food be the music of love, eat up, eat up. % If puns were deli meat, this would be the wurst. % If you are what you eat, does that mean Euell Gibbons really was a nut? % If you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the sounds of a restaurant. -- Snoopy % If you see an onion ring -- answer it! % If you stew apples like cranberries, they taste more like prunes than rhubarb does. -- Groucho Marx % If you waste your time cooking, you'll miss the next meal. % If you're going to America, bring your own food. -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studies" % If your bread is stale, make toast. % Is there life before breakfast? % It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears. -- Marcus Porcius Cato % IT MAKES ME MAD when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says, "You can't throw that chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish." Sure they eat fish if that's all you give them! Man, wise up. -- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988. % It was a brave man that ate the first oyster. % It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat. -- Robert Fuoss % It's raisins that make Post Raisin Bran so raisiny ... % It's so beautifully arranged on the plate -- you know someone's fingers have been all over it. -- Julia Child on nouvelle cuisine. % Just a few of the perfect excuses for having some strawberry shortcake. Pick one. (1) It's less calories than two pieces of strawberry shortcake. (2) It's cheaper than going to France. (3) It neutralizes the brownies I had yesterday. (4) Life is short. (5) It's somebody's birthday. I don't want them to celebrate alone. (6) It matches my eyes. (7) Whoever said, "Let them eat cake." must have been talking to me. (8) To punish myself for eating dessert yesterday. (9) Compensation for all the time I spend in the shower not eating. (10) Strawberry shortcake is evil. I must help rid the world of it. (11) I'm getting weak from eating all that healthy stuff. (12) It's the second anniversary of the night I ate plain broccoli. % Kissing don't last, cookery do. -- George Meredith % Kitchen activity is highlighted. Butter up a friend. % Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. -- Tommy Cooper % Last week's pet, this week's special. % Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. % Life is like a bowl of soup with hairs floating on it. You have to eat it nevertheless. -- Flaubert % "Life is like a buffet; it's not good but there's plenty of it." % Life is like a tin of sardines. We're, all of us, looking for the key. -- Beyond the Fringe % Life is like an egg stain on your chin -- you can lick it, but it still won't go away. % Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. -- Carl Sandburg % Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer and then you find there is nothing in it. -- James Huneker % Life is too short to stuff a mushroom. -- Storm Jameson % Life without caffeine is stimulating enough. -- Sanka Ad % Living here in Rio, I have lots of coffees to choose from. And when you're on the lam like me, you appreciate a good cup of coffee. -- "Great Train Robber" Ronald Biggs' coffee commercial % Man who arrives at party two hours late will find he has been beaten to the punch. % MOCK APPLE PIE (No Apples Needed) Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie 36 RITZ Crackers 2 cups water 2 cups sugar 2 teaspoons cream of tartar 2 tablespoons lemon juice Grated rind of one lemon Butter or margarine Cinnamon Roll out bottom crust of pastry and fit into 9-inch pie plate. Break RITZ Crackers coarsely into pastry-lined plate. Combine water, sugar and cream of tartar in saucepan, boil gently for 15 minutes. Add lemon juice and rind. Cool. Pour this syrup over Crackers, dot generously with butter or margarine and sprinkle with cinnamon. Cover with top crust. Trim and flute edges together. Cut slits in top crust to let steam escape. Bake in a hot oven (425 F) 30 to 35 minutes, until crust is crisp and golden. Serve warm. Cut into 6 to 8 slices. -- Found lurking on a Ritz Crackers box % Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. % My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. -- Orson Welles % My favorite sandwich is peanut butter, baloney, cheddar cheese, lettuce and mayonnaise on toasted bread with catsup on the side. -- Senator Hubert Humphrey % My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies. % Never eat anything bigger than your head. % No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut. -- Channing Pollock % Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. -- Charlie Brown % Peanut Blossoms 4 cups sugar 16 tbsp. milk 4 cups brown sugar 4 tsp. vanilla 4 cups shortening 14 cups flour 8 eggs 4 tsp. soda 4 cups peanut butter 4 tsp. salt Shape dough into balls. Roll in sugar and bake on ungreased cookie sheet at 375 F. for 10-12 minutes. Immediately top each cookie with a Hershey's kiss or star pressing down firmly to crack cookie. Makes a heck of a lot. % Pete: Waiter, this meat is bad. Waiter: Who told you? Pete: A little swallow. % Peter's hungry, time to eat lunch. % Preserve wildlife -- pickle a squirrel today! % Prunes give you a run for your money. % Put a pot of chili on the stove to simmer. Let it simmer. Meanwhile, broil a good steak. Eat the steak. Let the chili simmer. Ignore it. -- Recipe for chili from Allan Shrivers, former governor of Texas. % Put cats in the coffee and mice in the tea! % Remember, DESSERT is spelled with two `s's while DESERT is spelled with one, because EVERYONE wants two desserts, but NO ONE wants two deserts. -- Miss Oglethorp, Gr. 5, PS. 59 % RULES OF EATING -- THE BRONX DIETER'S CREED (1) Never eat on an empty stomach. (2) Never leave the table hungry. (3) When traveling, never leave a country hungry. (4) Enjoy your food. (5) Enjoy your companion's food. (6) Really taste your food. It may take several portions to accomplish this, especially if subtly seasoned. (7) Really feel your food. Texture is important. Compare, for example, the texture of a turnip to that of a brownie. Which feels better against your cheeks? (8) Never eat between snacks, unless it's a meal. (9) Don't feel you must finish everything on your plate. You can always eat it later. (10) Avoid any wine with a childproof cap. (11) Avoid blue food. -- Richard Smith, "The Bronx Diet" % Save gas, don't eat beans. % Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing. -- James Thurber % So much food; so little time! % Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk. -- Thoreau %