A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
		-- Groucho Marx
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A possum must be himself, and being himself he is honest.
		-- Walt Kelly
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"A power so great, it can only be used for Good or Evil!"
		-- Firesign Theatre, "The Giant Rat of Summatra"
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		Accidents cause History.

If Sigismund Unbuckle had taken a walk in 1426 and met Wat Tyler, the
Peasant's Revolt would never have happened and the motor car would not
have been invented until 2026, which would have meant that all the oil
could have been used for lamps, thus saving the electric light bulb and
the whale, and nobody would have caught Moby Dick or Billy Budd.
		-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
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All men are mortal.  Socrates was mortal.  Therefore, all men are Socrates.
		-- Woody Allen
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And now for something completely different.
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And now for something completely the same.
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	"Are you sure you're not an encyclopedia salesman?"
	No, Ma'am.  Just a burglar, come to ransack the flat."
		-- Monty Python
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As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" -- probably because it's
so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
		-- Woody Allen
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Being Ymor's right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with
scented bootlaces.
		-- Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"
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Bernard Shaw is an excellent man; he has not an enemy in the world, and
none of his friends like him either.
		-- Oscar Wilde
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"Boy, life takes a long time to live."
		-- Steven Wright
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But I always fired into the nearest hill or, failing that, into blackness.
I meant no harm;  I just liked the explosions.  And I was careful never to
kill more than I could eat.
		-- Raoul Duke
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"But I don't like Spam!!!!"
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	"But I don't want to go on the cart..."
	"Oh, don't be such a baby!"
	"But I'm feeling much better..."
	"No you're not... in a moment you'll be stone dead!"
		-- Monty Python, "The Holy Grail"
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Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to
point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very
fast.  People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are
often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people
from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B
that so many people from point A are so keen to get there.  They often
wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell
they wanted to be.
		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
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Death didn't answer.  He was looking at Spold in the same way as a dog looks
at a bone, only in this case things were more or less the other way around.
		-- Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"
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Decorate your home.  It gives the illusion that your life is more
interesting than it really is.
		-- C. Schulz
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Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he
just whipped out a quarter?
		-- Steven Wright
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"Don't come back until you have him", the Tick-Tock Man said quietly,
sincerely, extremely dangerously.

They used dogs.  They used probes.  They used cardio plate crossoffs.
They used teepers.  They used bribery.  They used stick tites.  They used
intimidation.  They used torment.  They used torture.  They used finks.
They used cops.  They used search and seizure.  They used fallaron.  They
used betterment incentives.  They used finger prints.  They used the
bertillion system.  They used cunning.  They used guile.  They used treachery.
They used Raoul-Mitgong but he wasn't much help.  They used applied physics.
They used techniques of criminology.  And what the hell, they caught him.
		-- Harlan Ellison, "Repent, Harlequin, said the Tick-Tock Man"
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Don't take life so serious, son, it ain't nohow permanent.
		-- Walt Kelly
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Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.  It's already tomorrow
in Australia.
		-- Charles Schulz
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Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.
		-- Terry Pratchett, "The Light Fantastic"
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
		-- Woody Allen
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Eternity is a terrible thought.  I mean, where's it going to end?
		-- Tom Stoppard
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Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the
Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an
utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life
forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches
are a pretty neat idea ...
		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
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