[
  {
    "pt": "im sorry, i cant, im refactoring my wishlist"
  },
  {
    "pt": "this is actually great because i was always bummed about missing the first cold war"
  },
  {
    "pt": "good news: we are living as civilization changes faster than ever before bad news: the change is rapid acceleration towards wastelands"
  },
  {
    "pt": "everyone ive got bad news. i just tried one and the name “banana slug” is TOTALLY misleading"
  },
  {
    "pt": "the CMYK system is based on the subtractive primary colors (cyan, magenta, & yellow) with an added channel for the 4th, secret color, Klack"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i am the alpha and the omega. i am the rando in your mentions, and i am the hot takes"
  },
  {
    "pt": "(snuggling a girl)\nINTERNALLY: oh shit i just thought of a great code optimization"
  },
  {
    "pt": "every time i learn something about haskell i understand less about haskell"
  },
  {
    "pt": "in terms of easy trolls, anyone who has opinions about operating systems is high up there"
  },
  {
    "pt": "“i think books are better than people” CLOSE TINDER AND GO READ A FUCKIN BOOK THEN YA SAPIOSEXUAL"
  },
  {
    "pt": "my dirty secret is that i rarely code c. but im a c girl at heart"
  },
  {
    "pt": "protip: say “emojicon” every time to bug unicode nerds"
  },
  {
    "pt": "knuckle tats “BECC AOOO”"
  },
  {
    "pt": "ME, AT A SECURITY CONFERENCE: if your program accepts any user input you have a security hole"
  },
  {
    "pt": "the wise man bowed his head and said “good documentation is its own reward”"
  },
  {
    "pt": "if you stare into a mirror and say “aleph-sub-aleph” three times ernst zermelo and abraham fraenkel appear and lecture you about infinity"
  },
  {
    "pt": "me: ugh, this keeps failing!\nthem: what keeps failing?\nme: ssh\nthem: ᵒᵏᵃʸ, ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵏᵉᵉᵖˢ ᶠᵃᶦᶫᶦᶰᵍ?"
  },
  {
    "pt": "power couple: me and vim"
  },
  {
    "pt": "sooo uhhhh. linux and unix are not. really the same thing? thats kind of a confusing name, actually, then"
  },
  {
    "pt": "daddy marx bot that tweets marx quotes but w/ “bourgeoisie” replaced with “daddy” and “proletariat” replaced with “little girl”"
  },
  {
    "pt": "c lets you get real close to the computer so you can fuck the transistors. cant do that with a “high level” language"
  },
  {
    "pt": "hey unix users. hows it going. im over here, running software on my computer"
  },
  {
    "pt": "I have killed and eaten 9 other, less powerful engineers to become the true #10xengineer\nGOOGLE INTERVIEWER: you need to leave now ma’am"
  },
  {
    "pt": "so heres the deal. i understand git. you understand monads. i think we can both help each other out here"
  },
  {
    "pt": "(sees something i don’t understand) what the fuck. is this monads"
  },
  {
    "pt": "girls dont want boys girls want proper utf8 support in javascript"
  },
  {
    "pt": "me: c programmers are jerks \nsomeone: you program c\nme: i rest my case"
  },
  {
    "pt": "diacritics, known to linguists as “text sprinkles,”"
  },
  {
    "pt": "ME: unicode is a blatant furry sympathizer, and—\nCONSORTIUM: objection, your honor!\nJUDGE: overruled! plaintiff, evidence?\nM: 🐶🐰\nJ: GUILTY!"
  },
  {
    "pt": "whats haskell good for again? like what features make it better than, say, c?"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i need someone to bully me into unix"
  },
  {
    "pt": "ted talks are the neolibs of speeches."
  },
  {
    "pt": "what do you call it when somebody talks about being jealous of the easy life domestic dogs live?\n\nfurry dogwhistling"
  },
  {
    "pt": "always have your int main() return UINT_MAX to keep other devs on their toes"
  },
  {
    "pt": "skills include\n— writing hex colors from scratch and getting the one i want"
  },
  {
    "pt": "school spirit is proto-nationalism send tweet"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i had a dream where there was a dab emoji and i was trying to type it desperately"
  },
  {
    "pt": "they all wanted us to be politically active but the moment you shoot a congressman it’s like “ohh thats bad” “you cant do that” fuck off"
  },
  {
    "pt": "somebody: are you a furry\nme: i did not have sexual relations with that kitty girl"
  },
  {
    "pt": "(a friend compliments me) this is a puff piece"
  },
  {
    "pt": "are you morse code? because babe, im an amateur ham enthusiast"
  },
  {
    "pt": "rebel against corporations stealing labor from the open source community by only making projects that are completely useless"
  },
  {
    "pt": "well im going to college, you know what that means: time to shave my balls"
  },
  {
    "pt": "ah! nothing as good as reorganizing your pdf folder, except, of course, eating pussy"
  },
  {
    "pt": "*&\nmake\n*\nmake\n\nmake\n&*\nmake\n**\nmake\n&&\nmake"
  },
  {
    "pt": "holy cannoli i crashed vim"
  },
  {
    "pt": "do you ever think about how if you put elon musk in a hole like 12 feet deep he couldnt get out. he would die down there. like you could stand there and watch"
  },
  {
    "pt": "talkin about haskell like yuppies talk about juice cleanses. yeah man i need to write some haskell on the weekends or all the java rots my veins. it’s scientific"
  },
  {
    "pt": "pwese hewp me wust"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i think computer scientists just made up trees so they could draw diagrams"
  },
  {
    "pt": "COWORKER: hey, guess how we sync authentication between all the servers?\nME: uhhh, hm. what would i have done when i just started learning linux…\nME: i would have a cron job scp /etc/shadow to all the synced machines\nCW: that’s *exactly* what we do\nME: 😳"
  },
  {
    "pt": "if you think what facebook does with your personal info is bad, just wait until you hear about the government"
  },
  {
    "pt": "(job interview) oh, yes, im very familiar with docking. sorry, a containerization layer? what’s that?"
  },
  {
    "pt": "anarcho-communist doggirl/catgirl alliance"
  },
  {
    "pt": "is she yknow (mimes kneading bread) a dyke?"
  },
  {
    "pt": "my take on plurality? it's totally legitimate to use the \"OH: [wacky out of context quote]\" tweet format for something one of your headmates said"
  },
  {
    "pt": "previous holder of the deepest hole ever award was my butthole"
  },
  {
    "pt": "today we gave homeless people soup...\"\nnice\n\"...illegally, because doing it legally requires jumping through tons of bureaucracy, but we showed up armed to the teeth and it was fine\"\nNICE"
  },
  {
    "pt": "long term memory's for chumps"
  },
  {
    "pt": "towards a new politics of radical accessibility: improving screen-reader usability while preserving the raw yet sophisticated aesthetics of ascii art"
  },
  {
    "pt": "my new idea is we put all the \"i want c but with exactly this one feature from rust\" people in a room and 24 hours later they will all emerge either incredibly embarrassed or with a new language that's c++ but worse"
  },
  {
    "pt": "hey babe i took lewds in my tshirt from your startup wanna see"
  },
  {
    "pt": "every fcc employee who approved the 5g band should be killed as a tiny recognition of the people who will die as a result of this (thousands within two or three years)"
  },
  {
    "pt": "(tune of \"don't stop believing\") i'm an it/its girl... living in a she/her world..."
  },
  {
    "pt": "this is NOT cute!!! puppygirls only shed when they're extremely stressed!!!"
  },
  {
    "pt": "hot take: elaborate water cooling rigs are just silly straws for gamers"
  },
  {
    "pt": "idea: the front bottoms but completely unsympathetic\nlike\nKing Size Mattress\n🎶this is for the lions living in the buff and conventionally attractive frames of my friends bodies🎶"
  },
  {
    "pt": "PROTIP: deleting code is bad luck—never do it. instead, just comment out anything you don’t think you need any more"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i want “trans girls softly explaining things” asmr"
  },
  {
    "pt": "being slutty and cute is good. i aspire to be slutty and cute",
    "lewd": true
  },
  {
    "pt": "if expo 25 osaka isn't as balls to the wall wild as expo 70 osaka i'll jump in the Charles River"
  },
  {
    "pt": "my gf texted me \"good night puppy\" and the ONLY reply my phone suggested was \"No\""
  },
  {
    "pt": "fuck swap i have 16gb ram that should be enough for anyone if it OOMs it OOMs"
  },
  {
    "pt": "^@‌o^@‌h^@ ^@‌n^@‌o"
  },
  {
    "pt": "what's hotter than the sexual tension between two girls, one of who wants to write iterators in as fluent and functional a style as possible, and one who does Not",
    "lewd": true
  },
  {
    "pt": "all opinions those of my employer especially whatever dogshit opinion you're mad about"
  },
  {
    "pt": "all opinions endorsed by one of my previous employers (you pick) as well as my university"
  },
  {
    "pt": "anyone: h—\nme: you are so precious to me"
  },
  {
    "pt": "question: are you just doing a rustconf talk as a ploy to get more twitter followers?\nanswer: yes, and it's worth all 15 of them"
  },
  {
    "pt": "if g-d didn't want me to be autistic he wouldn't have made people the perfect weighted blankets"
  },
  {
    "pt": "if u wanna get with me u gotta get with my weighted blanket"
  },
  {
    "pt": "pls microchip your gfs n case they get lost n the vet needs to find u 🥺"
  },
  {
    "pt": "of course I have daddy issues, why do you think I use vim?"
  },
  {
    "pt": "its fucking rude to have ur baby eat someone elses baby i hate u wasps"
  },
  {
    "pt": "CALLOUT POST FOR JACKIE:\n- put the arrow key cluster on her keyboard between M and comma.\n- who does that. who the fuck does that"
  },
  {
    "pt": "✅quoted baudrillard while talking about my pronouns"
  },
  {
    "pt": "oh to be sitting on a sticky vinyl couch in a recessed pit next to some escalators in a mall in complete sensory overload, with friends, and a pretzel,"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i should get bangs"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i hate it when old people complain about pop music. have you HEARD the beach boys' lyrics?"
  },
  {
    "pt": "(listening to my own talk) oh, cringe, yikes 😬"
  },
  {
    "pt": "a seeing eye dog is a sight reliability engineer"
  },
  {
    "pt": "what's more beautifully linkedin than a former idf sniper recruiting for data analyst roles hiring \"type A personalities\" only"
  },

  {
    "pt": "subtyping? isn't that when you go fjjshshfhsgfhdhgkfjskjs?"
  },
  {
    "pt": "im back. with yet more java code"
  },
  {
    "pt": "7 minutes into the daily standup and i've already started an argument on the difference between shirts and jackets and quoted a supreme court justice in favor of my position"
  },
  {
    "pt": "GUY ON MY TEAM: but how thick does the material have to be to qualify as a jacket?\n\nME: well, i'm reminded of what supreme court justice louis brandeis said about identifying lewd and lascivious material: \"i know it when i see it\""
  },
  {
    "pt": "whenever my mom asks if i wanna go on a hike i start yelling \"in the WOODS? like THEODORE KACZYNSKI???\""
  },
  {
    "pt": "lazy evaluation is when sometimes you forget to do it"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i firmly believe in the transformative power of a doggirl/catgirl alliance"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i love being a woman and keeping my cables nicely sorted and coiled in a series of sterilite drawers categorized on type and connector"
  },
  {
    "pt": "homework still best daft punk album sry\nbut u play discovery at parties, i udnerstand that. i know the deal"
  },
  {
    "pt": "anybody heard about puppys?"
  },
  {
    "pt": "im girls who say hiii 😔"
  },
  {
    "pt": "dsa puppy caucus"
  },
  {
    "pt": "but in my defense, i got an email"
  },
  {
    "pt": "so you're telling me i've NEVER made a \"cadaver yiffing dog\" joke on here? unbelievable"
  },
  {
    "pt": "some of the other months this year i've been prepared for. but august? absolutely not"
  },
  {
    "pt": "\"everything's a file\" but as a nihilist philosophy and not a design principle"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i would pay a million dollars for a \"stare at your own damn tits\" tank top",
    "lewd": true
  },
  {
    "pt": "DR. BRONNER'S 18-IN-1 FAT FUCKING NUTS",
    "lewd": true
  },
  {
    "pt": "dommes are object class thaumiel",
    "lewd": true
  },
  {
    "pt": "awoos are mine, not my employer's"
  },
  {
    "pt": "nix: we have a perfect solution for reproducible builds forever\nme: ok cool. how do i pick a specific version of a package to install so it won't change?\nnix: a what"
  },
  {
    "pt": "click here to see dumb dogs in high resolutions"
  },
  {
    "pt": "kinda sucks that i had to be on tumblr during the callout post era when i am in fact the kind of person who worries that playing with my cats is gaslighting because the toys aren't really alive"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i have an aerospace joke, but i couldn't fit it into the character limit after the ITAR boilerplate"
  },
  {
    "pt": "my hill to die on is that the delays introduced by non-compiled languages lead to really disastrous ux failures"
  },
  {
    "pt": "(notices cats like to nap in a cardboard box under my shelves)\n(pull the box out a bit to make it easier to get into for them)\ncat: my new favorite nap spot is in the tiny gap between the box and the wall"
  },
  {
    "pt": "if i were writing a java program i would simply not have race conditions"
  },
  {
    "pt": "just remembered the girl i briefly dated in middle or high school who unironically called me baka. simpler times..."
  },
  {
    "pt": "my curse is knowing all the official emoji names"
  },
  {
    "pt": "just discovered you can justify nearly any compulsive behavior with \"defense in depth\". loving it"
  },
  {
    "pt": "together we can work to make facebook an ugly smear on tech resumes"
  },
  {
    "pt": "typo will not cause outage again, says company after the billionth time typos caused major outages for large tech cos"
  },
  {
    "pt": "to whoevers car alarm is going off: i will kill you"
  },
  {
    "pt": "you have signed up for mandelbulb facts please text stop to stop receiving mandelbulb facts"
  },
  {
    "pt": "are you like... (mimes dog ears) puppy?"
  },
  {
    "pt": "NUMBER OF GIRLS WHO HAVE SEEN ME TOPLESS AND ASKED ABOUT PROGESTERONE: IDK I CAN THINK OF LIKE 4 OFFHAND"
  },
  {
    "pt": "oh fuck my rosh hashanah countdown is totally fucked up"
  },
  {
    "pt": "might fuck around n make a good editor for tiddlywiki (i won't)"
  },
  {
    "pt": "long-time followers will recognize this as the first tweet in a series of \"puppy justifies buying itself something horribly expensive\" tweets"
  },
  {
    "pt": "(does code review with my girlfriend, romantically)"
  },
  {
    "pt": "just kidding im on this website exclusively to capitalize on being a Fucking Embarrassment for clout"
  },
  {
    "pt": "thank u to the clout girls who have already correctly followed me"
  },
  {
    "pt": "Q: this is gross at least keep it on your priv\nA: no. i want to get clout for this"
  },
  {
    "pt": "trans girl trying on a dress like ok im just gonna take it for a quick spin"
  },
  {
    "pt": "keith haring would want you to draw gay dogs nailing each other. it's good"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i keep getting thrown out of my art history class for asking if keith haring was a furry"
  },
  {
    "pt": "catch me in the math aisle in the library basement taking cellphone pictures of the books about Knot Theory and giggling"
  },
  {
    "pt": "it's molex monday baby!"
  },
  {
    "pt": "samus aran logging onto Chozocraigslist and posting \"6'2 250lb bounty hunter femme top looking for girl with a huge dick?\" in the f4f personals"
  },
  {
    "pt": "samus aran logging onto ChozoNet and Choogling \"war crime to kill huge bird?\""
  },
  {
    "pt": "samus aran turning into a ball and spinning around in the club. a crowd forms around her, cheering"
  },
  {
    "pt": "you're talking a lot of shit for someone in cheek kissing range"
  },
  {
    "pt": "eye contact ONLY while kissing"
  },
  {
    "pt": "we're just two chronic paragraph texters who found each other"
  },
  {
    "pt": "electrical engineers and art students are so consistently hot but in totally different ways"
  },
  {
    "pt": "nobody is allowed to fucking die not on my watch"
  },
  {
    "pt": "that bsd mascot is a horny little motherfucker. i know this in my heart"
  },
  {
    "pt": "professional mathematicians 🤝 art students\nusing a calculator for single-digit addition"
  },
  {
    "pt": "calling my mutuals smexy until they softblock me"
  },
  {
    "pt": "can you Fucking Imagine being alive in the mid 90s and you read the java whitepaper and your literal first reaction is \"i wish we could run that on credit cards\""
  },
  {
    "pt": "reasons to date me? if u fall asleep when we're cuddling i'll plug in my phone before i go. im considerate"
  },
  {
    "pt": "going to my cringe class taught by a fail professor"
  },
  {
    "pt": "girls will be like \"wife me\" and then take selfies in overhead florescent lighting in their bedroom"
  },
  {
    "pt": "the overhead lighting hater has logged on"
  },
  {
    "pt": "if math textbooks are allowed to say \"left as an exercise for the reader\" then i should be allowed to do that on my math homework, too"
  },
  {
    "pt": "giddyup girls and grab your sleepin bags we're going slumbering"
  },
  {
    "pt": "i hate the real numbers"
  },
  {
    "pt": "if i was trying to determine the limit points of a topological space i would simply check every point in order. now to take a big sip of coffee and see what this cantor guy has to say"
  },
  {
    "pt": "topology is exhausting. don't talk to me or my open sets ever again"
  },
  {
    "pt": "fallen down (reprise) (skrillex remix) — toby fox"
  },
  {
    "pt": "ive been searching all day but i cant find adversarially perturbed images online anywhere :/"
  },
  {
    "pt": "house of leaves (Kindle edition)"
  },
  {
    "pt": "quiz: weed strain or sunsetted google messaging service"
  },
  {
    "pt": "tits hurty. thank you"
  },
  {
    "pt": "x86 instruction set ranked from least to most sexy"
  },
  {
    "pt": "gonna *start* calling my clit a cock but only after i get bottom surgery and then you'll be sorry",
    "lewd": true
  },
  {
    "pt": "one hot trans girl bottom with a sideshave and 40 tank tops to another: oh baby talk pl theory to me",
    "lewd": true
  }
]